Motherhood and rugby
Known as postpartumrugbymum on Instagram, Annette Bevan, shares experiences of postpartum rugby and motherhood. She explains her journey, learnings and what clubs, coaches and players should know.
I started my senior rugby journey at Bracknell RFC where I had some of the best days of my life and then moved to Henley RFC for a couple of seasons.
While I had been at Bracknell, I had started up a women's team at my home club, Abbey RFC, and after two seasons of playing for Henley, returned home in 2016 and have been there ever since.
We've played our highest in Championship 1 for four seasons, and are now in Championship 2. When I was much younger (and fitter!) I played with Ireland 7s and was invited to some Ireland 15s training camps, and I love following the journeys of some of the players I used to play with.
Other than that, one of my proudest rugby memories is captaining my county Berkshire at the first Gill Burns County Championship Final we ever reached at Twickenham, almost a year to the day after giving birth.
Motherhood and rugby
I have two beautiful children, Ted and Enya. Ted was born in 2021, and I was pregnant for two of the three Covid lockdowns. It was a very different pregnancy experience to when I was pregnant with Enya last year.
Both my children were born via c-section: Ted was emergency after a traumatic labour and Enya was an elective c-section to avoid the horrors of my first birth experience.
I consider myself very lucky to have two healthy children, and two relatively uncomplicated postpartum journeys physically. After Ted, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression at 8 months postpartum, which was a turbulent time, but one that with the help of my family, friends and some anti-depressants, I overcame.
I had an incredibly easy pregnancy with Enya, and because I went for an elective c-section, I felt in control of my recovery from the outset. I made it back to the pitch at 18 weeks postpartum and have had no complications.
I'm almost 6 months postpartum now and while I'm still building up my strength and speed, my fitness is at a decent level and I credit a lot of this to training throughout pregnancy.
Mums make up such a huge demographic of the female rugby playing population. Clubs are environments, just like work. We need to ensure we can facilitate mums getting to training and enabling them playing on match days.
Whether it is support with childcare, understanding when they can't make every session or game, or support physically with returning postpartum, there is still lots to be done at the amateur level.
I think knowledge sharing is so important. I have learnt so much from the experiences of other mums I have connected with.
Coaches need an understanding of the huge physical task returning from birth is. I think it’s hard to appreciate this as a male or even as a woman who has never given birth.
When I became a mum, I can honestly say I felt so ignorant about what mums I had played with in the past. Especially understanding what they had to put in place in order to play, be it childcare logistics or physical capabilities.
A basic understanding of the postnatal return to exercise is a must for coaches.
It’s also important to be empathetic for when kids just aren't kidsing and a mum has to send a late text to the chat to say she won't be at training. No one will feel worse than her, as I can guarantee she would have been so looking forward to that kid-free training time.
Protected time as a mum is so important. Training and playing rugby is time that I am 'me' again. I have no dependents asking me where stuff is, or a to-do list of chores.
I would encourage all mums to ensure they try and put things in place to have that protected time, but equally acknowledge that I am very lucky to have the support network of my husband, family and friends in order to do so. Ultimately though, I'm a better mum because I have my 'me' time.
Feeding and rugby is hard this time round with a bottle-refusing baby! I have to feed just before I play and sometimes even at half-time.
I have no discomfort when I play now, as my supply has regulated so much, but instead I have perpetual feelings of mum guilt (they never go away!).
Last home match I left my baby at home with my mum, and she refused a bottle for over 5 hours. I cried the whole way home from the club, as I just felt so awful that I had put my needs above hers.
We need to keep challenging the status quo in rugby clubs, which have for so long been very masculine domains.
Get comfortable breastfeeding in public, shout out your mums who are playing each Sunday, and work together as a team to see how you will support your mums.
I'm proud to be one of 8 mums in our wider squad now and on game days we all chip in to ensure childcare is sorted and the kids are entertained on the sidelines. It makes rugby what it is.
Top 3 tips from Annette
These are some of the things I’ve learnt:
The female body is absolutely incredible and even when you think it can't, it can, and it will.
Lean on the help your family, friends an teammates offer. It is so true when they say it takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to support a mother.
Go at your own pace. Everyone's postpartum journey is different, we all had different pregnancies and birth experiences and it would be so boring and dull if we were all the same!
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